Dissolve The Nerves That Just Begun
by funk2funky
Summary: Possible spoilers; contains a setting from episode 8, but doesn't give anything away. Gene/Alex. Will Gene reveal his true feelings?


**Dissolve The Nerves That Just Begun**

An interpration of "that scene" from the barn, shown in the trailer for episode eight. Sorry if that spoils anyone.

(Author notes at the end)

* * *

"Do I mean nothing to you, Gene?"

Her voice sounds like she's breaking down. She sounds devastated and at the end of her tether. She sounds like she's heartbroken.

The barn isn't cold but it isn't warm either, though that doesn't mean that it is a comfortable medium. Outside, the wind hisses gently against the disintegrating planks of wood that count for walls. He stands and he watches, because he feels like he can do no more than that. He feels numb, powerless.

"Well?" She's sobbing now, mascara running down her face. "Do I mean nothing to you?"

Gene Hunt stands in his suit and long coat, his hands in leather gloves by his sides. He is what he is. What you see is what you get. Gene Hunt can knock down doors, he can beat up scum, he can drive his Quattro at the speed of light to catch criminals. He can look death right in the face and snarl, and he can fight anyone off if they so much as give him a wrong look.

But he can't do this. Can he?

"Well?" Alex spits, spreading her arms out. _She looks like an angel_, Gene thinks,_ an angel with a tear-stained face_. "Speak to me, oh wonderful Gene Hunt. Tell me! Raise your bloody voice and _tell me_! You've never been afraid of speaking up before." She takes a few steps towards him, and still he remains motionless. "Do I mean _nothing_ to _you_?"

Her voice rings around the empty barn and he can feel his heart beating hard in his chest. He thinks of the previous night, of Bolly in her flat, smiling and telling him that his team would be alright.

_"Let's have a dance."_

_"No. Gene Hunt does not dance."_

_"No, he doesn't hug Christopher Skelton, either, does he?"_

No, he didn't. Not usually. But times were hard. He needed his friends, he needed his team to support him, and he wanted to support them in return. He was their Guv, and even though he probably did their heads in a lot - shouting at them to get on with their jobs, insults that were probably unnecessary - he wanted nothing more than their loyalty and respect. And though he'd never say the words aloud, he did care for them all very much, and he was certain they knew it.

He looks at her now. Bolly. Alex Drake. He felt it the moment they met, the initial spark of attraction. True, having her faint at the sight of him had done his ego the world of good, but it had been more than that. And it had been more than catching glimpses down her top, or eyeing her arse as she walked away. It had slowly evolved into something that was more than the physical, sexual attraction he felt for her. And that, well, that was the scary thing. Scarier than staring down the barrel of a gun.

"I thought I knew you," Alex hisses now, hands trembling with anger, "I thought, I thought _finally_ we had made progress. After everything we've been through together. All of the fights and the arguments. We've been through so much. And now it's all falling apart again, isn't it?"

He liked it when she got angry, truth be told. He liked it when the two patches of red appeared high on her cheeks, when her nose scrunched up and her fists clenched in annoyance. When she started shouting and stomping her feet. It was a sight to behold. He found it amusing to her watch, to wind her up, to dangle the carrot right in front of her pretty face and then just when she thought she had no chance, he would drop it in her lap, give her some lewd comment and watch her grin and scuttle off happily. He would give her whatever she wanted, but he had control.

"I'm through with this. My heart can't take it anymore, Gene." She turns on her heel and she's walking out, leaving the barn. Leaving him.

Is it worth it? To tell her. He could say it. He could. It's not physically impossible. He stands there, gaze steady, his vocal chords straining to speak up. Would it be better to tell her the truth, to lose his control, lose his foothold, than to lose her forever?

Yes.

"Alex," he croaks, and she stops. Pauses, on her way out of the barn, but doesn't turn around. Gene swears his heart is about to burst right out of his chest. "No."

She turns slowly, eyes landing on him, wet from tears. "What? No what?"

Gene's eyes fall shut slowly, and then he opens them again, staring at her. He clenches one fist and exhales unsteadily. "I said, no," he says, swallowing, "no, you don't mean nothin' to me."

She blinks at him. Outside, the wind is quieter, and the barn feels warmer now. He's walking towards her before he can really decide to do so. One step, two steps, three steps, and he's there, one more step and his body would be pushed up against hers.

"No," he says, voice shaking but nonetheless clear, "you don't mean nothin' to me. Christ Bolly," he looks away then, losing his nerve at the last minute, "you mean _everythin_' to me. I'd pull my own 'eart out my chest an' sell it for diamonds, if diamonds was what you wanted."

He shouldn't feel like this. He is a grown man - an old man, in his own opinion - his palms shouldn't be sweaty like a lovesick teenager. His stomach shouldn't be churning like a tumble dryer. He should be confident and suave, tell the lady what she wants to hear. What she deserves to hear. The truth. But he can't help it. She makes him feel young again, she makes him feel like he can do anything (except this). She always has.

"Y'know me, Bolls," he says now, still not meeting her eyes, instead looking at her red high-heeled shoes. "Not one for feelins an' that."

She laughs softly at that, looking at him in awe. "You're changing, though. You said you didn't dance, but you danced with me, didn't you? And you hugged Chris. You..." She ducks her head, his eyes meeting hers as she raises it again. "I was so proud," she whispers, smiling sadly, "of Chris for standing his ground, but mostly of you, for letting him. For forgiving him."

"'e gets it from you," Gene sniffs, scuffing his shoe on the floor, "tryin' to do the right thing all the time."

"Maybe," Alex agrees. "But you're his hero, Gene. You're the one he looks up to you. I think you always will be."

Again, his gaze moves to meet hers. She has thin lines of dried mascara running down her cheeks but the tears are gone. He wonders what made her change her mind so quickly, wonders if she knows it too. Maybe she knew all along but after three years, she's finally worked out that the foot-stomping and the shouting doesn't work. It's the tears. Every time.

"Nah, doubt that. Not now he has Keats."

She's there, then, tugging at his arm and wrapping her fingers in his. "Don't be silly. He might be a DCI like you, but he's not the Guv. _You're_ the Guv."

"For how much longer?" He asks her. "He'll push me out, Alex, an' I'll be left on the street like a bleedin' nobody, an'-"

"_No_. No, he won't. He won't succeed," she insists, moving around so that she's right up against him. "You are the Guv, you are our leader, and you will lead us, and we will succeed, and Keats will see that this is one team he won't break up."

Tears fall from his eyes, tears he didn't even know were there. They drop to the floor silently, and he wants to rub at them with his hand but he doesn't. He's already revealed himself to her; a few tears won't change a thing. He's hers now.

He feels her hand slip under his jacket and press against his chest, over his beating heart. "Remember this?" She asks, peering up at him. "Remember, the first day we met? When I did this?"

"Alex-"

"What did you say to me?" She cuts in, voice oozing with determination. She's even smiling, just slightly, eyes twinkling. "Say it, Gene."

He lets his eyes sink closed. He wonders if he's supposed to re-enact the whole thing, in which case he would have to grab her breast with one hand, but he's fairly certain that would ruin the moment.

"I said," he practically whispers, opening his eyes to look at her, his Alex, his Bolly. "I said, 'Now then Bollinger Knickers. Are ya gonna kiss me, or punch me?'"

She smiles so wide, lips full and bright red. She is gorgeous, absolute perfection, there is nobody more beautiful in his eyes. He could look at her for every minute of every day and it wouldn't be enough, and he's sure now that she knows it.

"I can give you your answer, now," she whispers back, rising to her tiptoes and bringing her arms around his shoulders. Her right hand cups his neck, thumb gently stroking his cheek, and still she smiles, still she is beautiful. "Kiss you," she says simply, and then their lips touch.

The world could have ended and still there they'd stand, lips pressing together firmly. It meant more to them anyway. Her hands in his hair, his around her waist, the careful press of lips. He'd thought about many things involving Alex - a lot of them involved them both being naked - but this moment, right here, would be forever in his mind, he was sure of it.

She pulls away and smiles at him. "My Guv," she says, low and truthful.

He smiles right back at her. "My Bolly," he nods, tugs at her waist and pulls her to him. She laughs, caught off guard, and puts both hands above his chest, gazing at him. She's seen him now, seen his inner self. It won't go away. And she doesn't want it to. They've been heading for this for so long, there is no turning back now.

This is it. Whatever happens, she has made her decision. She is Bolly. She's his Bolly. Nothing can take her from him now, nothing and nobody, because she will fight for him. And she knows that Chris and Shaz and Ray will fight for him too.

Whatever comes their way. Whatever truths are uncovered. Whatever tries to break them apart.

They are a team.

And Gene Hunt is their Guv.

Forever.

* * *

Hi. Firstly, thanks for reading. I try very hard with my stories (now plural, yay!) and I felt very nervous about posting this, though I felt the need to, as I put a lot of effort into it.

Right, well, I know that the story is perhaps a bit dramatic. It's based on how I believe the characters really feel about each other, though noticeably, it focuses more on Gene. I wanted to show his reluctance to tell Alex how he feels. Because I believe that he really does love her (and it's more than just wanting to shag her), I tried to make it seem that way through the story.

I have an idea for a sex scene that has been buzzing around my head for absolutely ages and I havne't seen it posted here yet. I wrote half of it, added it to this, and realised that it just didn't fit. So who knows, maybe I will post that one day. (If anyone wanted to write it for me, it's quite basic; I'd love them for it!)

Basically, I hope you like this. I did put my heart into it. I'm rambling now because I value the opinions of the A2A fans. Please, be honest, tell me how I can improve, because I hope to post more here, even after Friday (which, by the way, is driving me insane).

Oh, and the title is from 'True' by Spandau Ballet, a song that will now always make me go 'Damn you Jim Keats!'.

Thanks again for reading, reviews welcome as always.

F2F xxx


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